9/8/2019
One day a priest was walking by a Roman palace. Outside the palace was a guard who asked him, “Who are you, and why are you here?” The priest thought about those questions for a moment, then responded, “How much do they pay you to stand outside the palace and ask these questions?” “Two drachmas.” The priest responded, “I will pay you double that amount to stand in front of my house and ask me those questions every time you see me.”
This story has been on my heart and mind this week. The priest recognized the importance of knowing who he is and what is his purpose, and wanted to constantly be aware of those things. Both those questions sound easy enough to answer, but I think as life goes on, and especially in the midst of change, we can start to lose sight of the answers.
One day this week my señora came into the apartment to find me contemplating life at the kitchen counter. She asked me how I was, and I said “Más o menos.” I told her I was losing hope at becoming fluent in Spanish, and that the more I know, the more I realize I don’t know. She simply said “claro (kind of like duh, but less rude)” which made me laugh. Then I started talking to her about the confusion I’ve been experiencing, so she told me a Spanish saying that correlates with the story above – “There are two important days in your life: the day you are born, and the day you figure out why you were born.” She assured me that I have the answers inside of myself, and that I didn’t need to worry. I was thankful for her presence and words of comfort amidst the turmoil of change.
This experience reminded me of my hardest week in Ecuador, when I was really struggling feeling welcomed and feeling competent. I had told my host family goodnight and went outside to pray. My papá ecuatoriano found me out there and asked me how I was doing. I’m pretty sure he couldn’t understand all my English through my tears, but I do remember him encouraging me, telling me the good qualities he sees in me, and assuring me he and his family were there for me in the heartaches of transition.
It also reminded me of this last summer in Texas, when I was struggling adjusting to a new environment, a new host family, a new job, etc.. I remember talking with my host dad how I was worried the girls I would be working with (I was a youth intern) wouldn’t like me, think I was cool, or want to hang out with me. I remember he looked at me and said “That’s just the deceiver telling you lies.” He pointed me to truth and encouraged me during the uncertainty of newness.
I used to think I liked change. Change brings new adventure, a freshness to life, a break from routine. However, looking back on these experiences, I’ve realized some common themes. In each of these times of change I have struggled, I have doubted myself, and I have not had a smooth transition. However, during each of these times, someone has reached out to me, encouraged me, and pointed me toward truth. I am so grateful to each of my three host families for their words of encouragement and for helping me remember who I was and reminding me why I was there.
So, after taking some time to pray and reflect, I tried to answer the question: why am I here in Spain? First and foremost, I believe I am here to grow in my relationship with God, which should always be my #1 purpose. Along with that, I want to be a light to all those around me. Secondly, I am here to study Spanish and prepare for the future, whether that be teaching, translating, traveling, or simply communicating with other Spanish speakers. While I’m not sure if I will reach fluency, I know I will continue to learn more and more every day. Thirdly, I believe this will be a time of growth in my relationship with Arie. Distance is so hard, but I believe God has much for us to learn through it.
Finally, my señora was wise to share another Spanish saying with me – “Haz bien y no mires a quien” which basically means “Do good to all without worrying about who you are doing good to”. I’ve realized there are other students undergoing a hard transition right now as well. Being a study abroad student isn’t always as glamorous as it seems. There is pressure to have the best time of your life and do something fun all the time, which can get draining and disheartening if it isn't happening. Furthermore, translating who you are into a new place and culture can be difficult. Many people miss home but feel like they shouldn’t. I want to be there for this new group of friends and encourage them in this transition as so many great people have encouraged me.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Ok, if you weren’t looking for a life story but are more interested in the fun deets, here is the section for you.
Updates:
- I got a bike and am enjoying exploring the town.
- I got to ride a boat in the Plaza de Sevilla. This plaza was used to film a scene in an episode of Star Wars (#2).
- I attended a string trio concert in the palace gardens of the king of Spain. From what I have gathered, he stays in that palace when he comes to Seville. The concert started at 10:30pm, and the gardens were absolutely beautiful. I felt so fancy sitting in those beautiful royal gardens and soaking in classical music.
- Apparently not everyone here takes siestas… in fact, my host mom told Shanno (my roommate) and I one day not to take a siesta. Que triste!
- I am pretty sure I am the least fashionable person in Seville. I sometimes feel like that in the States, but here it is amplified x5.
- Pre-packaged toast is a rip-off, because it just breaks in the bag.
- Flamenco (a traditional dance) class starts tomorrow – watch out world!
Comments